Masturbation, aka, self-love!

A couple of nights ago, a screening of a documentary focusing on Masturbation as part of independent cinema event took place. I couldn’t have missed such event where a glimpse of sexuality-related debate was to be held! The documentary was called “Secret As Usual” سرية كالعادة which is wordplay for the term Secret Habitالعادة السرية which is how masturbation is usually referred to in Egypt.

The 30-minute long documentary is all made up of interviews, save for very scarce visual material. The interviewees are a few Egyptian young people of both genders and the rest are experts including andologists, psychiatrists and the like including the famous (for some, notorious) Heba Qotb, who’s been striving to position herself as a media-sexology figure in the last few years.

Through the interviews, we hear the young people talk about the ways they perceive masturbation & their attitudes towards it; not much personal experience. The “experts” mostly lecture us about what’s right and wrong, healthy and unhealthy for the remainder of it.

To be honest, the movie left me quite frustrated despite being a lauded initiative by the director (she made a previous film about sexual harassment). We may assume that the sheer attempt of approaching the matters of sexuality in our context is a happy event. That wasn’t exactly how I felt however.

The movie painstakingly tries to correct misconceptions about masturbation. It tries to open up options that masturbation may not be a bad thing. The Sheikh and the Priest say that there are no clear religious instructions against it. The doctors say that it doesn’t cause the oft-cited myths of blindness, madness, weakness, infertility, etc. Right after masturbation has been declared innocent of causing these afflictions, the “doctors” go on to explain how it actually causes premature ejaculation!

My frustration comes from that the film’s “experts” fail to deliver a viewpoint that masturbation is actually a healthy, useful and safe practice! It tries to correct and destigmatize, but it doesn’t affirm the positive aspect of masturbation. The message was that it’s not bad, but not good either, and that it usually reveals something wrong is going on.

My second disappointment is that the director interviewed the usual suspects: the medical and religious institutions, and dropped the human rights and anthropology approach. 

A positive approach to sexuality in general and masturbation in particular was missing.

Yes, jerking off is good, if don’t know that already. Let’s revisit how:

Photo from Scarlteen.com

For one thing, sex is good and healthy and it’s not that different if you do it with someone else or with yourself. It improves blood circulation, delays ageing and does other good stuff to your body. Masturbation helps people explore their bodies, their pleasure patterns, and sensitive areas. It can be used as an exercise to avoid premature ejaculation and practice self-control. Notably, it’s the safest way of sex out there. Unless, you’re using sex toys or similar objects, there is no risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections. 

Unless masturbation seriously interferes with productivity and daily life activities, it cannot be considered an addiction.

One would assume that society is now okay with masturbation, because let’s face it, everyone is doing it. But no, that’s not the case. Through my work with young people in schools and youth centers, I received countless questions about it. There remain a great deal of people who feel guilty about it, haunted by morbid thoughts of sinfulness and uncleanliness, in addition to all the other health hazard myths.

No wonder! It’s not uncommon for religious scholars to speak against it (it’s safer for them to denounce any form of sexuality), thereby enforcing the sense of guilt. It’s also no surprise when doctors juggle their opinions between “it’s not bad” to “it can cause you isolation and premature ejaculation”.

There is a view that masturbation was mentioned in The Bible through the story of Onan who would withdraw the penis during intercourse and “waste his seed”. Though this view is questionable by some, it is still used by many to justify why masturbation (and even contraception) is sinful. There is no mention of masturbation in Koran, but a couple of questionable interpretations and hadiths (prophet sayings) are perpetuated by most conservative sheikhs  to denounce it. Other Islamic scholars are permissive of it on grounds that it may prevent a greater sin (sex outside marriage).

Unexpectedly, it’s not only the religious institution that has intensified negative views around it. The medical institution played a historic vicious role as well. In fact, the term secret habit sounds very similar to the expression secret vice (and even self pollution) which dates back to the 19^th century in Western Europe and America, aka during the rise of modern medicine. For centuries, medical practice viewed masturbation as a serious public health concern that leads to insanity, and various other ailments.

I am well aware that using a sex-positive approach in sexuality discussions is a very difficult battle. We are in a country that’s still struggling to give young people the right to be informed about their bodies, sexuality and health. A recent policy brief by Population Reference Bureau (A Washington-based research center) provides more information and recommendations for incorporating comprehensive sexuality education into schools curricula in Egypt.

Such documentaries are good starting points. Public debates regarding sexuality matters are needed, though there is a current fear of moral panics and pushback by conservative forces in society that feel empowered after the revolution. Discretion about public debate is always nice, but too much caution may also get us no where.

The battle is going to be long and tough. It won’t get very far unless we move beyond the stereotypical ways of portraying sex and unless the progressive, sex-positive voices are included in the conversation.

Prophet Mohamed and Child Marriage?

Today, I was in Cairo University participating in a youth event for NGO employment and volunteering opportunities. I was happy to see so many youth interested in the reproductive health awareness initiative we’re doing. We were distributing booklets and flyers about those topics and things were going great and smooth until that guy showed up.


One of the flyers was on child marriage explaining the social and health implications of such practice. I never thought it could provoke people because family planning and HIV were the foremost topics that do. The guy asked me how come I want people to delay marriage until 18 while it is completely natural, and his own sister is married at the age of 12! He went on to say that old people used to marry at this age and no one ever complained, wondering why we want to change “the nature” of the society. He even said he’s engaged to a 15 year old and they are about to marry soon. He said that the practice is common in his hometown (rural lower Egypt) and that they marry without issuing official papers until they turn 18 then they declare it legally.


Away from rural Egypt, I took the discussion to twitter, I was even surprised by another Egyptian living in Canada who found increasing marriage age to 18 was exaggerated and unnecessary. He said that early marriage has no health or psychological implications. He even said that world suffers from many problems because of delayed marriage! It’s scientifically known however that early marriage jeopardizes the health of both mothers and children, causing more risk of abortion and maternal mortality.


Back to the rural person, what made me unable to argue with him was the fact that he used Prophet Mohammed as a justification for early marriage as it is known that he married his wife Aisha at a very young age. That was basically why he believed such awareness efforts were corruptive of “good societies”. He said he saw Prophet Mohamed as a role model for life and that all Muslims should take this view. While I tried to argue that there’s no comparison between that day’s society and ours, etc it evidently seemed useless.


This conversation made me think of culture and how it impacts people. While this person is educated, he still thinks that all those practices are natural and pose no health threat. He places no value to science over what he was raised to. Is it that his perception of health concepts is limited? What about the rights of those girls? Their right to freely choose their husbands, to finish their education, and to happily live their adolescent years. These are all necessary factors to form a woman able to raise healthy children.


Yes, the conditions rural Egyptians live in are different and women carry more responsibilities from an early age which make them mature earlier. The community there sees women’s sole function is to marry and raise children; however I can’t help but see it as a violation of these young girls to develop themselves fully.


I’d like to think that these two guys were an exception, however studies show that 11% of currently female youth in rural areas were married before age 16, and 30% before 18.




There is a law against marriage before age 18 and awareness efforts taking place, but these kinds of attitudes have to be dealt with carefully since they’re deeply embedded in the culture. Religious leads have to play a key role in countering such beliefs and attitudes.


Child marriage is obviously declining in Egypt, there’s more to be done, much more!

Conversation with a nun!

A few days ago I had a conversation with a Coptic Christian nun. We work together and we meet every now and then. This conversation is particularly important for me as I always felt that the polarity is more obvious when it has Muslim-Male on one side and Christian-Female on the other side!

No one can deny that the situation in Egypt sectarian-wise was deteriorating. A year ago a Christian friend of mine said “It’s like everyone is holding a knife behind his back for the others now”. This mistrust wasn’t only among people of different religion. It was a general state of mistrust fueled by the oppression and frustration we were living in Egypt particularly under Mubarak’s rule.

Also, no one can deny that Christians in Egypt were suffering from unequal treatment; they have restriction to build churches and incomplete access to jobs particularly related to academia and the military. However, Muslims also suffered as long as they are not privileged through socioeconomic or political status. Moreover, there are other minorities in Egypt whose voices were unheard. These are the voices of the people who didn’t belong to the three Abarahmic religions recognized by our state (Islam, Christianity & Judaism).

Monastery in Egypt

I met the nun a few times before, but we never approached politics or the situation of Christians. I was glad she opened up thanks go to the Jan25 revolution that liberated people from their state of fear and created a sense of solidarity.

She recounted her experience with the notorious State Security Investigations aka Political Police famous for crushing opposition against the regime, and for torturing and intimidating people. It also made a lot of community and charity work impossible. She was organizing an event to raise awareness of FGM which hosted a group of experts including an Islamic scholar to weigh in and show the Islamic stance against FGM. They forced her to go the police station at midnight so they can investigate about the event. In order to force her to come, they arrest a priest who works with her. It was more of an ordeal for her because she just underwent foot surgery.

We discussed constitutional article 2 (which says that Islam is the religion of the state) and expressed how it makes them feel as 2^nd class citizens; we also talked about how ridiculous it is to have ID cards which mentions religion of the holder.  

What was interesting to me is that she totally believed that the government was responsible for fueling those sectarian clashes to perpetuate the regime’s stay in power, and to divert people from the political corruption going on.

 It was refreshing we agreed on most things. I felt relieved that we opened up about Christian fears and concerns. I usually felt a degree of tension in our previous dealings. I do hope that the Egyptian solidarity continues to grow.

The solution to sectarianism in Egypt begins with truly acknowledging the problem and working diligently on guaranteeing religious freedom for all.