Stop harassment: It's not sex, it's oppression!

It was Eid celebrations once again, Eid has become notorious for waves  of sexual harassment whether downtown Cairo or elsewhere, or even in other governorates which we hardly know anything about.

Things were different this time. Various initiatives and announced they are stepping up their response and trying to deal with sexual harassment. There were attempts to document and stop sexual harassment on the street and the metro. Moreover, media has covered sexual harassment duing Eid more extensively. Cameras were out on the street to capture photos of guys stepping their boundaries. More positively, the debate and writing on the ugly phenomenon seemed to have surpassed times past.

Did all those analyses capture the reality of sexual harassment? I don't think so.

"My dignity is my freedom"

Many of those who approach the subject restrict the etiology in one of two options: first, women's clothing and their lack of decent cover-up (these arguments sometimes extends to attributing it to the mere presence of women on the street). Secondly, sexual repression and frustration which our male youth suffer from.

In fact, I don't think these two interpretations differ much from each other; they're like two sides of one coin. Proponents of this theory hold that women are sexual objects, more like a magnet or a moving vessel. Since youth do not have the means to get married at an early age, they're sexually frustrated and beholding these sexual vessels (women) moving around on the street would provoke men and hence they have to take as much as possible out o that vessel to fulfill their needs.

Why does sexual harassment occur and why has it become to spread? Indeed our youth are repressed, but what type of repression? Most o us obtain education at an educational system that produces disfigured humans, unprepared to face life's challenges, and becomes met with unmerciful labor market. It's possible to give a lot of statistics about unemployment rate, but numbers won't capture the experience of seekers of decent jobs.

More importantly, are young people listened to? are young people invested in? how able are young people to participate in social and political life?  The rate was 3% before the revolution and I am sure it has risen but still far from satisfying. What do we expect after this recipe of marginalization and systemic failure? Frustration, violence and religious extremism.

The problem is sexual frustration or women's clothes. The truth is men in our society feel "emasculated". Men in our country feel oppressed. The oppressor oppressed whoever weaker than them. And we've had our share of it; centuries of colonization and decades of military dictatorship. Men take it out on women (ie the weaker).

Last year, I was part of a research team on youth attitudes towards sexual harassment. What struck me was the depth of misconceptions regarding sexual harassment. Although a lot of them denounce it, many thought girls are the ones responsible for it and even enjoy it. Dangerously enough, they show no understanding of women's experience of violence whether on short or long term.

Most of us don’t appreciate the sense of weakness, fear, and powerlessness that harassment creates whether it was verbal or physical. Most of us don’t appreciate that a certain gaze to a woman’s body could make her feel as senseless object. So what would it feel like if their hands reach out to her most private parts of the body with an intent to humiliate and showoff of power, and not for pleasure? If you wish to know more about such experience, you better listen to the women themselves.

"Control yourself, not my clothes"

Is there a solution? Of course. Our hope is that our people breaks free from its shackles and restore its dignity. Education must be reformed both in terms of curricula and methodology. Curricula must include human rights education, gender equality, and sexuality education. Youth must be truly included in all decision-making related to their lives; not just using them as window-dressing as governments like to do.

Many talk of increasing legal penalties. To be honest I am quite skeptical of such suggestions. We have a lot of laws that are just ink on paper without enforcement. Many talk of increasing police presence on the streets. This may sound reasonable, but what about policemen who actually harass women? What would encourage women to go report the incidents, especially with the huge trust gap between people and police?

Legislation is significant, but more importantly, society has to be engaged. The existence of laws expresses the state’s commitment towards a certain issue. Now we live in the time of the people, community initiatives are key to create change; and many of those have recently surfaced.

Other suggestions such as facilitating marriage or changing women clothing are quite preposterous.

Two more points I would like to highlight:

1- Sexual harassment is not the only form of violence women are subjected to in our society. There is also domestic violence, female genital cutting, early and forced marriages, financial violence, etc.  the root of those problems are not much different that harassment. These issues are not any less important that street harassment. We must not limit women issues to what she faces in the public space only because there are much more violations.

2- It’s only women who suffer from street harassment, it has become mainstreamed. Anyone who looks different or vulnerable is liable to harassment. Foreigners, black people, people who dress in a nonconforming way, people with disability, and the list goes on.

The first step in facing the problem is acknowledging it and dealing with it in a mature way. Safety and physical and mental integrity are rights to everyone without discrimination.

عذرية وطن

قتل الجيش فرحتنا عندما سمعنا عن الانتهاكات والتعذيب الذي تعرض له المتظاهرين من الشباب الذين قاموا بالثورة وشاركوا فيها أساسا بسبب انتهاكات الشرطة والتعذيب والملاحقة التي تعرض لها العديد من المصريين.

لم أنكر أقوال النشطاء عندما عرفت بقيام الجيش بعمل كشف عذرية للمتظاهرات اللاتى اعتقلن يوم 9 مارس الماضي ولكن تأكيد الخبر الذي نشرته وكالة CNN  على لسان أحد قيادات العسكر المجهولين  فتح الجرح مرة أخرى وزاد مرارتنا وأوجاع ثورتنا.

تأتي كشوف العذرية كجزء متأصل من ثقافتنا وعاداتنا التي تختزل شرف العائلة في غشاء البكارة فكشوف العذرية لا يمارسها الجيش فقط ولكنها تمارس أيضا منذ القدم في صورة الدخلة البلدي، وحتى في الأسر الأفضل قدرا من التعليم والثقافة يستخدم العروسين الملاءة البيضاء (المحرمة) لإثبات شرف العروس وأنها حافظت على بكارتها حتى ليلة الدخلة، وتحتفظ العديد من النساء بهذا الدليل لبقية عمرهن، بل يتم عرض هذا الدليل في طقوس احتفالية على الجماهير المهتمة حتما  بهذا الحدث.

وحيث أن الرجال لا يملكون غشاء بكارة فهم لا يتعرضون لكشوف عذرية، غير أن ثقافتنا دائما ما تكيل بمكيالين وأصبحت المعايير المزدوجة هي السائدة، فالرجل الذي لديه علاقات نسائية يتفاخر بها والعائلة تضحك (الولد كبر) أما الفتاة فتنصح منذ سن مبكر بالحفاظ على ساقيها مضمومتين عند الجلوس كرمز على العفة والشرف.

ونحن هنا لا ننادي أن تتخلص النساء بغشاء بكارتهن خارج إطار الزواج (وهي حرية شخصية على أي حال) ولكن أين المساواة؟  ماذا يحدث عندما لا تنزف الفتاة في ليلة دخلتها بالرغم أن ذلك قد يكون عائدا لأسباب بيولوجية ترتبط بطبيعة غشائها؟ كم فتاة فقدت حياتها بسبب ذلك؟ هل هناك اختبار عذرية للرجال؟ لو اعترفت فتاة لزوجها بقيامها بعلاقة قبل الزواج هل يثق بها بعد ذلك؟ وماذا لو حدث العكس؟

استخدم الجيش هذه المنظومة المختلة للقيم لكسر عزيمة وكرامة المتظاهرات بل وكان العذر أقبح من ذنب (حتى لا تدعي الفتيات أنه تم اغتصابهن). ألا يدرك من قام بهذا الانتهاك أن ما حدث لهن على أيدي أطباء رجال وعلى مرأى للجنود نوع من الاغتصاب في حد ذاته؟ ولماذا يسمحوا لأنفسهم بإصدار الحكم على أشخاص بحسب عذريتهن؟ وهل هذا يدل أن المتظاهرات المشاركات في الثورة كلهن منحرفات أخلاقيا؟

على أية حال فإن هذه ليست أول مرة تقوم السلطات بفحص الأشخاص للاستدلال على سلوكهم الجنسي والذي هو من أدق الأمور وأكثرها حساسية؟ ذكرتنا كشوف العذرية بالفحوص الشرجية التي تم عملها للرجال الذين تم القبض عليهم في كوين بوت تلك القضية الشهيرة التي أثارت الرأي العام في 2001 وعرفت بقضية الشذوذ الجنسي. لماذا تسمح الدولة لنفسها بالتدخل في تلك الخصوصيات؟ ألا تدرك أنه ليس دور الدولة التدخل في كيف يستخدم الأفراد أجسادهم؟ 

لماذا تستمر تلك الرؤية الضيقة للشرف؟ فالشرف هو الصدق والوضوح والأمانة والإخلاص وغيرها من الصفات ولكن مجتمعنا يحرض على الكذب والتدليس والنفاق والمعايير المزدوجة. مجتمعنا يحكم على الآخر بدون الاكتراث لمعرفة الدوافع والأسباب. مجتمعنا لا يقبل الآخر كما هو ويصر أن نكون كلنا نسخ متشابهة عديمة التنوع والتمايز. 

لقد حان أوان ثورة الفكر.

The Shackles of Virginity

Egypt and a lot more Arab countries are now witnessing an unprecedented case of vibrancy and mobilization in what is called the Arab spring. As I said before such state of revolution are not only political, but transcend it to personal barriers as well. It is at times like these when we should reconsider where we stand and where we want to be in the future.

Patriarchy is one of the biggest problems we have and it affects the lives of women and men alike. Women are controlled in different ways. They have limited options; their bodies are under control; which manifests itself in various forms, ranging from dress style to female genital mutilation.

Another way to control women's sexuality is keeping their virginity. An incredibly huge amount of pressure is placed upon women to stay virgin. Society has constructed several methods to make sure that women stay virgins until marriage.

In Egypt, a practice called dukhla baladi used to and still exists in some parts of the country, especially remote rural areas. On the wedding night, the bride and groom are accompanied by members of their family. The bride is usually held down and a woman inserts her finger in the vagina after folding her finger with a piece of cloth to receive the blood that results from the breakage of the hymen. This blood is usually called the blood of honor.

Although this practice is on the wane, other practices exists to ensure the virginity of female on their wedding night. The bride prepares a white piece of cloth, commonly called al-mahrama, is placed beneath her during the first intercourse.. The blood received on the cloth is later displayed to family members of the husband and wife, as a proof of virginity.

What's interesting is that it doesn't only place pressure on women, but also on men. It proves the man was virile enough to do his task. It is not uncommon that men do not perform well on the wedding night due to all the pressure, the lack of experience and sexual education.

Sometimes the girls do not bleed, not because they lost their virginity but because the hymen could be elastic or has pores which allows penetration without significant bleeding. This could cause serious troubles. In many cases the bride is taken to a gynecologist to check on her hymen and if it was "used" before. This test can determine the bride's fate forever. Either her dignity is restored or she's tossed to a life of shame, and in some cases it results in "honor crimes".

I was struck when I talked to family members that this tradition is alive and well, even among upper class and educated people, perhaps more commonly in Upper Egypt, where more conservative gender values exist.

What struck me though is to find origins for such practice in the Jewish tradition. In The Bible, Deuteronomy 22: 13-21 recounts how men should handle whether finding out their wives were virgins or not. It also mentions using a piece of cloth to prove the bride's honor but in this case, it is shown in front of the elders of the town.

What disturbs me most is the extent to which such personal and delicate affair can become the center of attention of the whole family. Such interference undermines the will of the newly married couple and can sabotage their private relationship. I personally believe that these matter should be only handled within the couple themselves.

Society should realize that it is not the hymen that determines honor. Honor is a broader concept that entails honesty, integrity and trust. Women can have sex without losing their hymen. Also, The society must stop the double standards about male and female virginity. While female virginity is a necessity, men are forgiven if they have pre-marital sex.

It is now up to the young generations to revolt against those traditions and choose to have their private sexual life, away from the interference of the old guardians. They should be able to discuss and share their feelings and concerns.

Once again, revolutions are not only political, but also personal!

Do We Know How to Handle Sexual Harassment?

News came out yesterday about a draft law that has been proposed by the government issuing harsher punishments for those who commit sexual harassment and rape crimes, up to the point of death sentence.

The new law tackles various points: adding telephone and the internet to different media through which harassment can occur; and giving more conditions when rape convicts get harsher punishments such as reconsidering victim's age and cases where the victim has been raped by more than one convicts.

This is a reminder of a similar law which just passed a few days ago for combating thuggery. The news of that law was alarming to me as well as many other human rights activists. The move towards stricter law for thuggery was met with a lot of criticism. Just before this particular law was passed, the military forces cracked down on Tahrir protesters, many were detained and tortured. These protesters were claimed to be thugs which puts us at a dilemma of how to determine who's a thug and who's a protester, especially because we are at a time where military courts (where people do not enjoy their full rights of fair trial) have been handling these cases.

Back to sexual harassment, it is quite obvious there's a problem with the way we're dealing with this issue. The phenomenon which began surfacing rather recently in Egypt is rampant. But is issuing stricter punishments the solution for this multifaceted problem? Here's why I don't think so:

I find the process highly questionable. The ministerial council pushes for more punishments for sexual harassment and the supreme military council is happy to enforce these, because this is the language the military best understands. In normal circumstances the ministerial council can propose draft laws and submit them to the parliament to discuss them further. Either way there need to be more public debate about it.

Photo Credit: Amr Nabil/AP/File

Drafting laws without counseling civil society bodies or human rights experts is pretty concerning. These laws have to be compatible with human rights law, and there need to be clear definition and good consensus on what sexual assault entails.

I am more concerned with how to enforce this law, rather than the punishments themselves. There are big question marks on how to get these cases reported? We have a culture of silence about these crimes. It's hard for people to report them because a huge stigma can be placed upon them. Most women who face sexual harassment or even rape never report it to the police or even to their families because their lives can be devastated.

We have this culture of intimidating criminals by increasing punishments. I don’t really believe it works. To be able to overcome a societal problem, we need to handle its underlying causes. All those handling those crimes need to be sensitized about it and fully aware of its implications. By engaging different people in the process of ending the phenomenon of sexual harassment, real achievement can happen on that front.

Faggots for Whores? Or What happened to Women March in Tahrir

Although I am still deeply agitated over what happened today at the women march today in Tahrir, I have to give my personal account as a male who went there to support women’s rally for freedom and democracy.

First, since the call for the march on Facebook, we have got a lot of negative comments either being sarcastic of the whole thing or others who want us to postpone it for later. I am really trying to comprehend the “Let’s save it for later” argument. Is it really concern for stability? Or is it internalized patriarchy that sees women issue as trivial?

So we get together in Tahrir, a few hundreds of women and men. We started to distribute flyers mentioning our demands which were:

I know the demands would be controversial and we expected strong debates at the protest, but what happened in reality was much worse than any of us expected. 

The flyer had the following demands:

1. Women's participation in shaping Egypt's constitutional, legal and political future.

2. A new civil constitution that respects citizenship, espouses equality and abolishes discrimination.

3. Amending laws so that it give full equality and rights, including personal status law.

4. Not allowing women's reproductive role to take over her participation in public and private life.

5. Establishing law for criminalization of violence against women inside and outside their home.

6. The constitution must allow women to run for presidency.

We started chanting for women rights. Just as we started chanting a group of couple hundred men started gathering and then started the chant race! They said: The man is a man and the woman is a woman; you are the children of Suzan Mubarak; Go home women!

We tried to chant back singing the national anthem and saying “Men and women are one hand”. They seemed very provoked by our mere existence and their looks were full of sarcasm and ridicule. Apparently the possibility of women running for presidency was beyond their misogynous ego.

The shocking part is that they used Islamic chants against us saying “Women’s voice is a shame”, “why didn’t God send female prophets?” This was quickly followed by rounding us up and pushing against us and ugliness followed. Women and girls were groped, their hair got pulled; dirty harassers hands were all over their bodies. I did my best to protect my friends and we got into physical and verbal fights.

I was called a faggot defending whores. I was told I wasn’t Egyptian for doing this.

So now. Some accuse us of being too controversial. Some accuse us of using the wrong time and place to voice our grievances. Until when would we remain silent? And till when we will be too shy to call for women rights? I am not sorry I called for justice. I am just really appalled but what my friends had to go through. We managed to get our voices heard for once, and it won’t be the last time.

I hope what happened today will shed some light on the unacceptable attitudes towards women. More men need to speak out for women too. This will definitely help our cause.

 The battle is hard. Mubarak’s regime and authoritarianism destroyed people’s sense of diversity. It may take years to actually change attitudes. I think we are up for it though. 

Egyptian Women Are Coming!

Tomorrow is the International Women Day, but let’s forget international for now and look at what’s happening in Egypt.

Egyptian women have been a crucial part of the revolution, even by helping planning when Asmaa Mahfouz called for protests and spread it through social media. Women fought against the regime alongside men and fell victim to brutality and murder at the hands of police and thugs.

Now women are moving, sobering up and breaking the taboos of patriarchy and organizing a protest in Tahrir for democracy and women rights. The initiative didn’t come from NGOs or any institutions, but was called for by men and women; activists, academics, civil society workers, and others. Jan 25 revolution proves to be breaking more barriers than previously thought.

Women demands range from abandoning FGM and sexual harassment to being able to run for president. Some demands stir controversy more than others though; especially when women call for ending polygamy or equal inheritance! The demands are also political asking for more representation in government and parliament. 

Controversy also comes from different grounds. Sally Zahran whose photo became one of the central images of revolution martyrs and whom I personally saw perform in a beautiful piece called Cairo Complaints Choir, caused a debate when some people asked for avoiding using her photo with her hair uncovered and spread another one of her wearing the veil. Also, people debated whether Sally died in Tahrir or not, and her mother appeared on TV to say that she fell out of balcony after a fight with her family when they ordered her to stay home and avoid protesting. The true story will never surface I guess. 

The fact that all that controversy was focused on the beautiful daring Sally reveals a problem and discomfort with free women like her. Would the same happen if Sally was a guy?

So far the event seems to be stirring debate, mostly among women themselves who are debating whether women are oppressed or not, and whether they should go out to call for their right nor not, and when. This is all healthy and hopefully a step towards the long awaited new Egypt. 

Cut my clitoris, please! Part II

In my last post, I talked about encountering FGM apologia and why it shouldn’t come as a surprise for me to face it. For the last couple of years, I have been reading about it and getting involved in discussions regarding FGM. One of the most notable readings is a study entitled “Investigating Women’s Sexuality in relation to FGM in Egypt” conducted in 2008 by a team of researchers led by Dr. Mawaheb El-Mouelhy, a leading activist in combating FGM. The study takes a deeper look at the terrifying practice and both men and women’s view on it.

There are a lot of justifications that people provide when you ask them why FGM is performed. Some of those are based on myth and false beliefs such as hygiene, some people think that if the clitoris is not cut, it would grow to become like a penis. Others do it because of customs. Most commonly though, they would say to control sexual desire for girls and to ensure married women’s fidelity, and also to increase the chances for a girl to get married and to be acceptable by her husband!

A contradiction emerges in people’s views of FGM. Although most of them said that FGM is important to control female sexual appetite, they asserted that the most important determinant of honor is the way a girl was raised by her family rather than practicing FGM. The most important thing for them was that the girl behaves well and keeps her virginity till marriage. Moreover, they knew that FGM was not enough to make their girls “behave well”. The honor complex is still controlling our thinking. Family honor and status is dependent on how its females behave. Family’s reputation has to be maintained, so the girls must be under strict control.

Another shocking and contradictory finding was that women and especially grandmothers are the main decision-makers of FGM. This brings me back to the story I told earlier. What makes women perpetuate this practice? Do they get jealous of each other in a way? Are they bound by tradition and custom? Were they brainwashed by patriarchal values of the society?

It is clear that the society sees female sexual desire as such an evil thing that has to be eliminated or at least controlled. Some people even likened an uncircumcised woman to a raging bull, not satisfied by one man! Men worry that if they marry an uncircumcised woman, they wouldn’t be able to satisfy her sexual needs.

It is indeed disturbing to have such thoughts going on in the community. There are currently a lot of efforts and campaigns made to combat FGM, and the procedure was officially banned by law in 2008. However, such efforts are restricted and needs a lot of years to pay off. Laws are not enough, especially with lax enforcement strategies here. Laws alone cannot change people’s beliefs and attitudes. It’s not only a matter of raising awareness. It’s a matter of changing patriarchal culture.

Cut my clitoris, please!

A campaign poster against FGM

So there I was, giving training at one of those sexuality education sessions. It was an introductory session, I was trying to be careful as possible as these young people are going to publicly discuss sexuality-related issues for the first time in their lives (in a health context of course)!

I came up with an information sharing game, to make it easier for them to participate and learn. I prepared a set of statements in the form of scientific facts. Then, I split each statement into two parts and distributed all the parts to the trainees, then asked them to find the other half of the statement they have.

One of the statements said: “Female genital cutting (FGM) could lead to bleeding, infertility, and loss of sexual appetite (berood ginsi).” After each of them found his/her matching half of the statement, I asked each of them to read the statement out loud. One of the girls said it out loud, but after she did, she shook her head and said “I’m not convinced, how can this happen?”

I went on explaining how the conditions and the delicacy of this surgery could lead to such fate. I also explained the function of the clitoris and how its cutting leads to loss of sexual desire.

“But isn’t this [loss of sexual desire] better to happen for women?” exclaimed the girl. I was surprised to be honest, even though I should have expected it, I guess it surprises me every time, especially when this kind of comment comes from a girl/woman! I think her only excuse is that she most probably haven’t started a sexual life yet, and she would know it better first hand and she wouldn’t have her children undergo the same awful procedure!

FGM prevalence in Africa

However, one shouldn’t be exactly surprised with this kind of FGM apologia in Egypt. The practice is indeed widely prevalent with shocking numbers. Egypt Demographic and Health Survey in 2008 demonstrates that the prevalence among women aged 15 to 49 is 91%. Although the practice seems to be declining among the younger generation, the phenomenon is widespread. With such rates, then definitely majority of the community supports it and have good reasons behind it. 

I am going to delve into it more in the upcoming post. Wait for Part II of this post!